How many times have you browsed the platforms of online profiles displaying numerous attractive people with varying abilities & traits to suit your needs but find yourself questioning your opposition to the equation?
Only to let that negative voice talk you down & turn off every possibility of reaching out to one of these fantastic people. One thing I know comes up for everyone is, “How do I reach out?” Which is usually followed with a “What do I even say?” Or “Will he even give me the time of day?” & “What are they going to think of me?”
I will tell you the harsh reality check from the other end: none of that matters. That little voice appears as a limiting belief that is there to protect you & at the end of the day, it does a great job. Still, if this is something you’re passionately yearning for or briefly curious about, I would encourage you to go beyond your fears & anxieties once you have chosen the right profile & have done your due diligence in deciding on the right person for you. I would refer to my previous Blog, Choosing Mr. Right for the Night, which provides some guidelines & things to look out for when browsing for a straight male escort.
In my experience, many people I have seen have said, “It was tough to message you first.”
So I am hoping this makes things easier for the future, either for a first-time booking.
Let's start off hypothesising here: it's the first time or at least the first time in a while that you have contacted someone to fulfil your fantasies of intimacy or a social endeavour to see what they’re like in person. You want to make a good impression, not come across as too presumptuous or maybe it has just been a while socially & you’re feeling a little unconfident in the message you are trying to convey. As you can imagine, workers get a whole bunch of messages & all sorts of inappropriate ones at that. How do you begin?
On that note, let's make things easier to break down from my side now.
Generally speaking, I would respond to nearly every first message I get with a follow-up ‘more information please?’ message that can usually be along the lines of:
“Please tell me more about yourself (age, sex & location). What you’re interested in experiencing from me (dinner, massage, full service)? & lastly, do you have a day, time or duration in mind? That way, I should be able to respond accordingly.”
As I am sure you can imagine, there is a diverse range of requirements from enquiries & a wide range of services I provide; it is sometimes difficult to quote accurately.
It is always important to communicate the proper etiquette & get the correct information. When contacting a sex worker for the first time, it is essential to be clear & respectful in your communication. This means avoiding disrespectful language, making inappropriate requests, or ignoring the sex workers' boundaries or preferences.
The first section clearly indicates what services I can provide, as some things are outside of my professional boundaries or even competencies. I like to think I have a good understanding of my strengths & if I cannot provide the best version of that experience, then I will politely decline or attempt to refer to another provider.
Please be polite & respectful, introduce yourself & explain what you’re looking for in a clear & concise manner. Also, be aware that if the sex worker declines your request or doesn’t respond, do not continue to contact or harass them. With a grain of salt, I am only human & sometimes I miss a reply, so if it is left on read, I do sometimes need a follow-up message & that's not for everyone, respectfully.
Secondly, understanding the experience itself is a huge help, as rather than looking at what I do as a list of services - it is more about the overall experience together & how adding myself to this fantasy can bring it to life. I can’t fathom enough how everyone is vastly different with their kinks, desires & fantasies. So, knowing a brief description of what someone is seeking is essential. For example, Do you want it to start soft, slow & sensually working with breathing play, eye gazing or massage? Alternatively, is it “on” from the word “go” where the first kiss instigates a snowball effect of firm ‘dom-sub’ dynamic, hands grasping, mouths gasping, passionate lips, gyrating hips & a primitive, lustful exhibition for the world to witness?
Ok.. ok.. that’s enough smut from me.
But we need to discuss the service details for expectations & preferences. I want to be the best version of myself for you & that may take an entire day of preparation, depending on those details.
They are thirdly giving me an indication of location then day, time & duration. To determine one’s availability, I & a lot of independent sex workers travel across Australia regularly & by invitation; please check their tour dates on their profile or social media. Please generalise your locations to a significant part of your city to save me from googling suburbs.
Once we have determined respectfully all the above, there is usually a screening process. I can only speak from my business model, which requires a confirmation deposit to solidify our rendezvous. This deposit comes off the total amount & is non-refundable unless I have any troubles or unforeseen circumstances that deem me incapable of completing our allocated time together. I would return that deposit in full.
You may want to download an app to transfer funds through, like ‘Beemit’ or a few others that allow both parties to maintain their privacy.
Be aware that providers may require a government ID or photo Identification for their safety & note that discretion is a top priority not just for the sex worker but also for the client.
On a quick side note, as a straight male escort, I get a lot of messages from men, women & couples; usually, these are not indicated in the first few messages, so it is hard to deduce who I am talking to.
Please avoid messages like “Hi, " " U avail, " " U free, "U avail”, “U free”, “?” “wyd”, & every variation; these are really anticlimactic & scientifically proven to give me erectile dysfunction. The audacity for vague & uninformative messages is a red flag for me & I will not be responding because I cannot, as a professional, deduce that I am talking to a grown-up or someone of sound mind & therefore making any further communication beyond that potentially illegal.
This breakdown is intended to be brief for first contact. However, there’s still so much I can ramble on about & if there is further information about your circumstances, kinks or fantasies, it is always appreciated being informed beforehand.
Remember, when engaging with a sex worker, it’s essential to prioritise safety and respect at all times. If you have any doubts or concerns, it's always best to err on the side of caution and avoid the situation altogether.
I hope this helps with reaching out to further sex workers in the future. Good luck & have a grand time.
Kind Regards
Rhys
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