Let's talk about HPV...

Lately, I’ve found myself wanting to write about human papillomavirus (HPV).

I know this can feel like a confronting topic for some people. For those who aren’t sure what it is, HPV is a predominantly sexually transmitted virus passed from one person to another through skin-to-skin contact. Most of the time, it causes no symptoms at all, and many people carry it without ever knowing. In most cases, infections clear up on their own within two years¹. About 10% of the time, HPV can lead to genital warts which are small, uncomfortable bumps that can carry a surprising amount of psychological distress. In around 5–10% of cases, the virus may lead to precancerous cell changes or lesions. If left untreated over time, these can eventually progress to cervical cancer². 

It sounds pretty frightening, doesn’t it? 

What’s equally important to understand is just how common HPV is. In Australia, studies suggest that around 80–90% of sexually active adults will experience at least one HPV infection in their lifetime³. It has even been said that the only way to completely avoid HPV is to never have sex at all⁴. 

Despite how widespread it is, the emotional response to a diagnosis can be intense. Many people describe feeling dirty, ashamed or as though they’re being punished for being sexually active⁵. Others speak about the fear of telling partners, worried about judgment or assumptions around promiscuity⁶. That stigma can make open conversations about sexual health feel incredibly difficult.

I’ve been thinking about this more lately because I’ve spent time speaking with people who have been diagnosed. They are thoughtful, kind, grounded humans who suddenly begin to see themselves as damaged or “less than” because of something almost as widespread as the common cold. I’m not saying that to minimize it. Australia has done extraordinary work through nearly two decades of school-based vaccinations and early detection and prevention here are far stronger than in many parts of the world. But the shift in how people see themselves after a diagnosis can be heartbreaking. 

So what might be a gentler way to think about HPV, without ignoring the realities? 

One way is to accept that if you’re having sex, exposure is likely at some point. In that sense, it’s not a marker of recklessness or irresponsibility, it’s part of being human. It reminds me of a scene from The Incredibles. Dash tells his mother, “Our powers make us special.” She replies, “Everyone is special, Dash.” And he answers, “Which is another way of saying that no one is.” 

HPV is a bit like that.

If almost everyone encounters it at some stage, then having it doesn’t make you abnormal. It makes you part of the human experience. 

Another way to think about it is through the lens of sexual health rather than shame. This is something that feels very familiar to me through my work. Regular screening, paying attention to your body and getting anything unusual checked early is simply part of caring for yourself. It’s not a reflection of character. It’s just health. 

The final piece and perhaps the hardest, especially for women, is practicing radical self-compassion. We live in a culture that profits from convincing people to hide their perceived flaws and present as untouched, perfect and unmarked. But being around people at their most vulnerable has taught me something over and over again: vulnerability is part of being human. Our bodies carry stories. They change. They heal. They adapt. 

That doesn’t make us broken. It makes us real. 

And real, imperfect humanity is not only okay. It’s quietly magnificent. 

The more we think about HPV in this way, the less confronting it feels. And the more it feels like something we can talk about openly, honestly and without shame. 

If you feel comfortable, I’d genuinely love to hear your story too.

1. Kanar, D. E., &; Wolf, S. I. (2023). From Warts to Cancer: Understanding the

Diverse Realm of Human Papillomavirus (HPV). Health Science Journal, 17(11),

1–3. https://doi.org/10.36648/1791-809X.17.11.1081

2. The Royal Women’s Hospital. (n.d.). Human papillomavirus (HPV). The

Women’s. https://www.thewomens.org.au/health-information/sex-

sexuality/sexually-transmitted-infections/human-papillomavirus-

hpv#a_information

3. Brotherton, J. M. L., Condon, J. R., McIntyre, P. B., Tabrizi, S. N., Malloy, M.,

&; Garland, S. M. (2015). Human papillomavirus prevalence to age 60 years

among Australian women prevaccination. Sexual Health, 12(4), 353–359.

https://doi.org/10.1071/SH15035

4. Cook, C. (2013). Diagnostic classification, viral sexually transmitted infections

and discourses of femininity: limits of normalisation to erase stigma. Nursing

Inquiry, 20(2), 145–155. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1440-1800.2012.00593.x

5. O'Donnell, N., Waller, J., Marlow, L., Anderson, N. C., &; McBride, E. (2024).

“Knowing that I had HPV, I literally just shut down”: A qualitative exploration of

the psychosocial impact of human papillomavirus (HPV) in women living with

mental health conditions. British Journal of Health Psychology, 29(1), 80-94.

6. Bennett, K. F., Waller, J., Ryan, M., Bailey, J. V., &; Marlow, L. A. (2021).

Concerns about disclosing a high-risk cervical human papillomavirus (HPV)

infection to a sexual partner: a systematic review and thematic synthesis. BMJ

sexual &; reproductive health, 47(1), 17-26.